


The Five Times She Cried

by EvilRegalNZ



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Fix-It: s04e08 Silence in the Library, Episode: 2015 Xmas The Husbands of River Song, Episode: s07e05 The Angels Take Manhattan, F/M, Post-Episode: s07e05 The Angels Take Manhattan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 05:27:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18309101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilRegalNZ/pseuds/EvilRegalNZ
Summary: Five times The Doctor saw River cry





	The Five Times She Cried

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I've written and posted. Constructive feedback is welcome.  
> Thanks to the Tumblr user who shares their posts, I found this prompt on this blog: http://doctorwhoficprompts.tumblr.com/page/9.  
> This is just 11. No regeneration into 12.

Five times the Doctor catches River crying. This can be either Ten, Eleven, Twelve, any Doctor that River could have interacted with.

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The first two times he ever saw her cry was when the Angles took Manhattan.

The angel is holding her tight. Too tight. He doesn’t know how he's going to get her out. He can’t break her wrist, he won’t. He can’t hurt her.  
“She's holding you very tight” states the Doctor, sonicing the angel.  
“At least she didn't send me back in time,” says River gratefully.  
“I doubt she's strong enough”  
“Well, I need a hand back, so which is it going to be? Are you going to break my wrist or hers? Oh, no. Really? Why do you have to break mine?”  
“Because Amy read it in a book, and now I have no choice”. He breathes in and out to calm himself, before looking at Amy standing in the doorway.  
“You see?” he questions, quietly.  
The Doctor scans the contents page as he dashes his way out the door before he stops suddenly.  
“Doctor? Doctor, what is it? What's wrong? Tell me. Doctor? Doctor, what is it, tell me” river asks, trying to keep the panic from her voice, “Okay, I know that face. Calm down. Calm down! Talk to me. Doctor!”  
“No! Get your wrist out. You get your wrist out without breaking it!” he demands angrily, still unwilling to break her wrist.  
“How?” she questions.  
“I don't know. Just do it. Change the future!” he yells storming off after Amy.

 

“So, is this what's going to happen? We just keep chasing him and they keep pulling him further back?” Amy asks dejectedly.  
“He isn't back in time. I'm reading a displacement, but there are no temporal markers. He's been moved in space, not in time, and it's not that far from here by the look of it” River explains coming into the room, vortex manipulator beeping.  
“You got out” the Doctor states, surprised. He shouldn’t be, he knows his River is brave and strong enough to do it  
“So, where is he?” Amy demands, desperate to get Rory back.  
“Well, come on, come on, come on, where is he? “asks the Doctor, pacing impatiently  
“ If it was that easy, I'd get you to do it” River snaps  
“How did you get your wrist out without breaking it?” the Doctor queries.  
“You asked, I did. Problem?”  
“You just changed the future.” The Doctor chuckles  
“It's called marriage, honey. Now, hush, I'm working”  
“She's good, have you noticed? Really, really good” praises the doctor, sitting down next to Amy, grinning broadly.  
“Ah, wherever it is, it's within a few blocks. There's a car out front. Shall we steal it?” asks River, eyes sparkling with delight at the prospect of stealing the car.  
“Show me!” shouts the Doctor, springing to her feet, dashing towards the front door, grabbing River’s hand as he passes.  
River cries out in pain, the Doctor grabbing her broken wrist. Tears spring to her eyes before she quickly blinking them away. Breathing heavily through the pain, she tries desperately not to cry. The Doctor looks at her in shock, hiding the pain behind his eyes.  
He takes the book and communicator from her hand. Then gently, he takes her hand and pulls her to sit on the bottom of the stairs.  
Tucking the book into his pocket he fiddles with the buttons on the vortex manipulator and River’s communicator before handing them off to Amy.  
“Okay, when all those numbers on both units go to zero, that's when we've got a lock, okay? It's how we find Rory”  
“Got it” she affirms.

The Doctor sits beside her on the stairs,  
“Why did you lie to me?” he asks softly, heartbroken.  
“When one's in love with an ageless god who insists on the face of a twelve-year-old, one does one's best to hide the damage”  
“It must hurt. Come here” he whispers to her as he gently pulls her wrist onto his lap.  
“Yes. The wrist is pretty bad too”  
He looks at her, and he sees it, quite by accident. A single tear in her eye and it breaks his hearts. She blinks it away before it can fall. Gently he begins to feed his regeneration energy into her hand, despite her protests.  
“No. No. No, stop that. Stop that. Stop it!”  
“There you go. How's that?” he asks softly, gently laying a kiss on the back of her hand.  
“Well, let's see, shall we?” she asks before she slaps him across the face.  
“That was a stupid waste of regeneration energy. Nothing is gained by you being a sentimental idiot” she yells at him  
“River” he sighs.  
“No, you embarrass me!” she yells, storming off outside.  
“River!” he calls after her.  
“Tell you what. Stick to the science part” Amy tells him, shoving the communicator and vortex manipulator into his hands before following her daughter out of the door.

Giving them a moments head start, he follows them, listening from the doorway.  
“Okay, why did you lie?” Amy asks River.  
“Never let him see the damage,” she says, “And never, ever let him see you age. He doesn't like endings”.  
It was only one tear, he saw it glistening in the streetlight as it fell from the corner of her eye. It broke his hearts, a lone tear trailed down his cheek.  
The beeping of the communicator brought him back to the moment, brushing the tear away, he ran outside to join Amy and River.

 

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The third time he saw her cry was after the angel took the Ponds.

She dragged him back to the TARDIS keeping the angel in her sights. She pushed him into the TARDIS before getting them out of there.

“River, they were your parents. I'm sorry, I didn't think”  
“It doesn't matter”  
“Of course it matters.”  
“What matters is this. Doctor, don't travel alone.”  
“Travel with me, then.”  
“Whenever and wherever you want. But not all the time. One psychopath per Tardis, don't you think? Okay. This book I've got to write. Melody Malone. I presume I send it to Amy to get it published?”  
“Yes. Yes.”  
“I'll tell her to write an afterword. For you. Maybe you'll listen to her.”  
“The last page!”

He and River took the book to Amy, making provisions for when the Ponds when they arrive in 1938. River stayed with him on the TARDIS, she didn’t want him to be alone.  
He sat alone in the console room, reading and rereading the last page of the book. River went to bed, leaving him alone with his thoughts.  
Getting up, he headed for the library. He paused outside one of the spare rooms, the one River was staying in. He thought he heard something. Opening the door, he poked his head into the room. The sound is clearer now, distinctly crying. The Doctor can see Rivers outline on the bed, her shoulders shaking.  
“River?” he whispers. He makes his way to her side. “River... I’m so sorry”  
Climbing up onto the bed behind her, he pulls her close wrapping his arms around her. Her shoulders shake more violently, tears flowing faster. He just held her his hearts breaking for her, she lost her parents and best friends in one day.

A while later, when River’s tears had dried, she spoke.  
“It’s not your fault” she whispers, “Amy made her choice. I know you’ll blame yourself”. She turned to face him.  
“Don’t blame yourself, my love, please”.  
“How can I not? I told her I would come back for her, that I would show her the stars. I never told her” he pauses, “I never told any of them what they were getting into. The dangers of traveling with me”  
“They all made their own choices. What is life without a little danger?”  
“But they’re all gone River. All of them”  
“I’m not going anywhere, sweetie”

 

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The fourth time he saw her cry was when he took her to The Singing Towers of Darillium.

“So, what do you think? The Singing Towers of Darillium” he says. He moves to stand on the balcony next to her. Watching the sunset, listening to the towers sing.  
“Oh. The music. Listen to it. Are you crying?” she asks.  
“No. Just the wind”  
“Nothing's ever just the wind”  
“No? It blows through the cave system and harmonizes with the crystal layer”  
“Why are you sad?”  
“Why are you sad?”  
“I told you, my diary's nearly full. I worry”  
“Please don't”.  
“There are stories about us, you know”  
“Oh, I dread to think”  
“I look them up sometimes”  
“You really shouldn't do that”  
“Some of them suggest that the very last night we spend together is at the Singing Towers of Darillium. That wouldn't be true, would it?”  
“Spoilers”  
“Oh. Well, that would explain why you kept canceling coming here. Do you remember that time”  
“River, stop”  
“When there were two of you”  
“Don't”  
“Because I want you to know that if this is the last night, I expect you to find a way around it”  
“Not everything can be avoided. Not forever” and then he sees it. The tears in her eyes glistening in the sunset.  
“But you're you. There's always a loophole. You wait until the last minute and then you spring it on me”  
“Every night is the last night for something. Every Christmas is the last Christmas”  
“But you will. You'll wait until I've given up hope. All will be lost, and you'll do that smug little smile and then you'll save the day. You always do”  
“No, I don't. Not always. Times end, River, because they have to. Because there's no such thing as happily ever after. It's just a lie we tell ourselves because the truth is so hard.” A tear escapes her eye.  
“No, Doctor, you're wrong. Happy ever after doesn't mean forever. It just means time. A little time. But that's not the sort of thing you could ever understand, is it?”  
“Mmm. What do you think of the towers?”  
“I love them”  
“Then why are you ignoring them?”  
“They're ignoring me. But then you can't expect a monolith to love you back”  
“No, you can't. They've been there for millions of years, through storms and floods and wars and time. Nobody really understands where the music comes from. It's probably something to do with the precise positions, the distance between both towers. Even the locals aren't sure. All anyone will ever tell you is that when the wind stands fair and the night is perfect when you least expect it but always when you need it the most…” he pauses, trying not to cry, “there is a song”  
“So, assuming tonight is all we have left” she starts, a tear making its way down her cheek,  
“I didn't say that” he interrupts,  
“How long is a night on Darillium?”  
“Twenty-four years”  
“I hate you,” she says, half laughing, half sobbing in relief.  
“No, you don't” he tells her turning to face her.  
“No, I don’t” she says, leaning her head on his shoulder, and turning to face the towers once more.

 

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The fifth time he saw her cry was when he saved in the library. Making sure to land after his tenth self left with Donna, the TARDIS materialized in the basement where River sacrificed herself for the 4022 CAL saved a century ago. Opening the TARDIS doors, he stepped out into the silent library. He makes his way over to CAL.  
"Download River Song, please. Being her back to me"  
"I can’t. River Song is not like the others. I can’t download her"  
"Please" he begged. "Please bring her back. I need her"  
"She is not human. She cannot be downloaded".  
"Not human" he mutters to himself, “She’s almost human, Download her”.  
“Her species is not registered in the library, she cannot be downloaded”  
"Oh. I'm thick. Human plus time lord"  
Dashing over to the nearest computer he frantically pulls the wiring out. Dashing into the TARDIS he yanks wires out, dragging them out of the door into the basement. Sonicing bits of wire together from the TARDIS to the computer he works frantically.  
"Biggest library in the universe? Ha!"  
Finishing the wiring he dashes back into the TARDIS, nearly tripping over the wires draped all over the floor.  
"Come on, sexy. Update the biggest library in the universe" he says pulling leaves and pushing buttons.  
"Now it’s the biggest library in the universe" he yells as the TARDIS whirs to life.  
Dashing back out of the TARDIS he starts another computer.  
'The Library is Updating. Search functions are currently unavailable. Sorry for any inconvenience' pops up on the screen with a progress bar underneath. 30% complete, 33% complete, 45% complete,  
“come on” he yells, smacking the side of the computer.  
57% complete, 64% complete, 75% complete, 89% complete, 96% complete, 100%. 'Update complete. All Library services are now available. Thank You for your patience'.

He runs back over to CAL.  
"Please, bring her back. Search your hard drive, you can see how to download her. Please"  
"River Song can be downloaded" replies CAL.  
With a flash, River appears right where his tenth self watched her die.  
She stands and walks towards him.  
"River" he smiles opening his arms to embrace her.  
Approaching him, River delivers a harsh slap to his cheek.  
"What was that for?!"  
"Making me give up hope" she answers before pulling him in for a kiss.  
“Why do you always do that,” she asks, tearing up, “why do you always make me give up hope”  
“I’m sorry, River. I’m so sorry. Our timestreams were still out of order”  
“Spoilers, right” she whispers, pressing her forehead to his.  
“Yeah. Spoilers. I love you, River. I will always come back for you. So, don’t you ever give up hope again” he tells her, gently taping her on the nose.  
"Come on, back to the TARDIS before the Vashta Narada overrun this place" he says giving her a quick kiss and grabbing her hand.


End file.
